Bill from White Plains is an Iowa lawyer and political observer with a keen interest in promoting candidates with the character required by the positions they seek.

Alexander Pope mocked literary critics of his day with his comment, “For Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.” The literary references in his 1709 piece, “An essay on criticism,” are lost to time and the short attention span of most people in modern life, but that line endures.

Putting aside the hideous 1997 romantic comedy starring Matthew Perry, the line endures because stupid people are no less stupid in 2026.

Last week, State Representative Eddie Andrews stepped up to become the latest in a long line of idiots, hoping to become the leader of his party and this state. He is helping to pave the way for a brainless stiff from northwest Iowa to win the Republican party’s gubernatorial primary in June.

Andrews had no staff to speak of, almost no money, and no organization behind his campaign for governor. When he was called on it, rather than be a man, he went all-in on denying his incompetence, by attempting to undermine the campaign of Adam Steen, another on the clown car of GOP candidates for governor.

Steen’s campaign had assisted one of its donors, David Bush, in completing paperwork to challenge Andrews’ underwhelming and pathetic petitions to qualify for the June primary. (Bush’s $5,000 contribution to Steen was not even that large for a statewide campaign.)

When you see a man who wants to be Iowa’s governor running out to his car at the last minute for one more page of signatures, who did not know the necessary formatting for presentation of those signatures, bouncing around the Iowa Secretary of State’s office claiming he’s the guy to lead this state, you know that the challenge was legitimate.

For all of his schmoozing and back patting, Andrews lacked the discipline to build a real campaign operation. Competent staff could have headed off last week’s embarrassing display in front of Iowa’s State Objection Panel, consisting of Secretary of State Paul Pate, Attorney General Brenna Bird, and Secretary of Agriculture Mike Naig. (Naig was pinch-hitting for State Auditor Rob Sand, who recused himself from considering this challenge because he’s running for governor as a Democrat.)

For all of his success as a state legislative candidate living in the tony northwest Des Moines suburbs, Andrews can’t raise the money necessary to compete in the governor’s race, let alone convince the national Republican Party to finance his run. He lacks the self-awareness to recognize that there are valid reasons his candidacy is not viable. I reckon he is the entertainment at the country club. Perhaps he is the “one Black friend” that some of his white neighbors refer to when they claim not to be racially prejudiced, or discriminatory.

Andrews apparently has convinced himself that people take him seriously. Yet everything about his comportment last week displayed that he either does not take himself seriously, or does not take the Iowa electorate seriously.

Ultimately, Republicans are going to be saddled with U.S. Representative Randy Feenstra, whose only talking point is that he is tall, and that he’s “fighting” for something. What he is fighting for has yet to be decided by out-of-state image makers like who molded Sarah Palin several presidential cycles ago.

We’re living in chaos as a nation. Our president is still trying to litigate the 2020 election; still going after the prosecutor who did her job in compiling evidence that resulted in some 80-plus felony convictions. He’s currently dogging her about a mortgage application. He’s nominating lawyers who refuse to acknowledge that he lost the 2020 election to be federal judges.

Meanwhile, Eddie Andrews acts like a child in the sandbox, in need of a diaper change, yelling at everyone to get out so he can try to build a sand castle, without (among other things) water.

As soon as news broke about the challenge to Andrews’ petitions, his supporters wanted to know the challenger’s identity. That was important to them. God forbid they should acknowledge that Eddie’s duct tape and chewing gum campaign lacked the sophistication to learn the legal requirements, and should have collected more than the bare minimum of signatures. It couldn’t be that the candidate is a moon worshiper on a cloudy evening. No, it had to be about somebody else.

Just like President Donald Trump with Leticia James.

Eddie Andrews is a joke. He barely made weight as a primary candidate, but within 48 hours of confirming his spot on the ballot, he was beating his chest like some sort of political George Foreman, denouncing Steen and calling for Steen to drop out. He is not a contender; he lacks the crushing Foreman punch. Eddie is a buffoon.

Steen isn’t going anywhere, anyhow. Having the endorsement of The Family Leader is like showing off a 1978 Chevy Chevette that has no engine. Just courting The Family Leader is like praying to the porcelain God after a bad night out – if you’re down there on your knees, things are not going well for you.

And for what? Immigration raids at food processing plants? Clampdowns on Black protesters leading to lawsuits that cities lose, forcing taxpayers to foot the bill? White flight from public schools leading to the destruction of the public education that was so foundational to our system of government, and to our neighborhoods – even suburban neighborhoods – and higher taxes? Corporate tax breaks that lead to higher taxes still, for everybody else? Estate tax breaks for corporations masquerading as farms, leading to yet higher taxes – not to mention carcinogenic drinking water — for the rest of us? Laws criminalizing birth control, resulting in generations of single-parent families in need of welfare, and, in turn, welfare cuts that lead to despair, crime and violence?

All “in God’s name?”

When was the last time the GOP-controlled legislature passed a socially-impactful bill that was written by lawmakers who prioritized Iowa rather than the national Republican Party’s interests? It sure wasn’t any bill that Eddie Andrews authored.

There is not an adult in the room when it comes to the Iowa GOP right now. They act like children. Eddie Andrews is the most obnoxious one at the moment, crying the loudest, stomping his feet the most violently. If the child had any sense of dignity, he would attempt to act like he was, at the very least, a teenager. Not Eddie.

Stop acting the fool, Eddie. You drop out.

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Top photo of gubernatorial candidate Eddie Andrews speaking at the Polk County GOP’s Lincoln Dinner on March 26 was first published on the Eddie Andrews for Iowa Facebook page.