Bruce Lear lives in Sioux City and has been connected to Iowa’s public schools for 38 years. He taught for eleven years and represented educators as an Iowa State Education Association regional director for 27 years until retiring. He can be reached at BruceLear2419@gmail.com
Author’s note: This is the same introduction I used for a post I wrote in 2020 after President Donald Trump ordered a drone strike on Iran.Unfortunately, it’s still relevant for this new war.
It was an Iowa night thick with humidity and lightning bugs. We’d gathered in a vacant lot to test our virgin manhood. I was 13 years old, and I was standing in a circle of friends watching as each skinny armed boy tied on overweight boxing gloves and met his opponent in the center of the circle.
No referee. No adult. Just a whole lot of testosterone mingling with nervous adolescent sweat.
I waited. When I saw one of my friends, smaller than me, putting on the gloves, I decided it was time. I turned my back, to put on my gloves. Seconds later when I turned around, my opponent had morphed from a gangly 13-year-old friend into a heavily muscled, menacing junior in high school. My friend stood wide eyed, hands at his sides watching.
I was doomed.
But when you’re 13, and surrounded by your buddies, you’d rather chew your own skinny arm off then back down. I took one step toward him.
The cartoons I still watched secretly at home often showed characters getting hit and then seeing stars. It was funny. In an instant I saw those stars and tasted blood in the corner of my mouth. It wasn’t funny. There was no count at all. After a minute of star gazing, I got up. I took the gloves off, and without a word, staggered home.
I can still feel that punch, but I learned a couple of lessons about war that night. First, always know who you are fighting. Second, know your next move.
I don’t pretend to be an expert on negotiating to end wars, but sadly neither are the two lead negotiators for the U.S. right now. I do have 30 years of experience negotiating contracts, and ending this war will require a long-term contract with Iran. The alternative is a protracted war, costing our country blood and treasure. Granted, that’s a far higher risk than I ever dealt with negotiating educator contracts, but here’s what I learned about bargaining.
Have realistic goals
A team needs to understand what’s possible to avoid sacrificing possible for perfect. No deal is ever perfect because negotiating means compromising. I’ve negotiated deals I thought were exceptional only to have someone begin by asking, “Couldn’t you have gotten…” You spend as much time negotiating with your own team as you do with the other side.
There’s a lot of songs about war, and few about negotiated settlements.
All negotiators want the whole pie but need to be satisfied with a piece and then work toward getting a second and third helping.
Goals need to be clear so strategy can be precise.
It’s not like buying a car or making a real estate deal
Negotiating a contract isn’t like getting a car or making a real estate deal. In contract negotiations, the parties have a long-term relationship. In a car or real estate deal, you can go down the road and find another one. In short-term deals, you may hurl insults because you don’t need the relationship.
In contract negotiations, you need one that lasts. If you publicly demonize the other side, you eventually need to make deals with the devil. When you do, your constituency won’t trust it. That’s why negotiations are done in private and public statements are carefully worded.
It’s hard and time consuming.
Decision makers need to be at the table
The worst negotiation sessions are when you don’t know who’s on the other side and whether they have the power to settle. If the decision makers aren’t there, the people at the table need to be able to speak to them when a deal is close.
Like my one punch fight, knowing who you’re fighting is important. I didn’t. I walked away with a bloody lip and a bruised ego. Iran isn’t Venezuela. It’s time to seriously negotiate.